This entry is dedicated to my beloved ABAH, Mohamed Darbie
bin Mohd Yusof. I really want the memory to remain in my heart, mind and soul
forever. It took 2 weeks to finish this entry as I will cry while typing this.
Man, it’s so hard…here it is.
It’s almost 13 years, Abah left me when I was 17 years old.
I was still a vulnerable child who needs the protection of her father.
When I was a kid, I still remember that Abah will bring me
around town with his motorcycle PS 972 every evening. I’ll sit in front of the
motorcycle and he will buy me chocolates, ice-cream and my all time favorite,
Super Ring.
I’ve started my pre-school since 4 years old. I can read and
write when I were 3 years old. He will send me to school and fetch me from school
every day and that was his responsibility.
And sometimes he will teach me to play badminton in front of
our house. Abah is a very over protective dad. When I was in primary school,
he’ll make sure that no one will hurt or disturb me at school and even after
school.
Abah sent me to Sekolah Agama and he said he wanted me to
have balance in life. There was one day, someone took my color pencil. He
bought me a 24 Luna colored pencils and my friend took one of it. I was crying
and he went to school the next day and talked to the girl’s grandpa about the
color pencil, surprisingly, I’ve got it back!
Another incident was that, there were 2 Chinese boys
watching us played the badminton. He scolded the boys by saying that “Kenapa u
org tgk ank saya? Mau kacau ka?” During that time, I was just 10 years old!!
When I was in standard 5, I’ve been appointed to be Peers
Committee. Sometimes my classmates will call me at home and asked for my
advice. While I was on the phone giving
my peer an advice, he will listen to my conversation from the other phone.
After I’ve hang up, he said “Tak sangka anak abah pndai bagi advice love”. About
the phone thingy, he did hide the handset so that I won’t always on phone
talking to my mates without studying or doing my homework. And if a boy called
me at home, he will say “Kenapa nak kacau anak saya after school? Kalau nak
tanye kerja sekolah ke ape ke,tanye time sekolah je”.
Every day when I am coming back from school he will check my
school bag if there’s any love letters from the boys at school. He will read
all my mails before he passed them to me, well, in case if the mail is from a
boy.
I was quite an active students and my father is always being
invited to attend the students award as I’ve got most of the prizes and every
year he needs to sit in front of the stage and he said “Bangganye abah dapat
ank yg talented. Belajar pandai, berlakon pandai, nyanyi pandai, menari pandai,
berdebat pandai, bersyarah pandai, berpidato pandai, 3 bahasa pulak tu. Bersukan
pun pandai. Asyik abah je tiap2 tahun dok depan mesti org lain jealous”. He was
so proud of me and EVERY time I walked on the stage, he will look at me with
his teary eyes.
Abah is an adventurous person. He likes to ride his bike to
the dangerous path or small bridge and he will be busy looking around while
smoking during his ride. There was one day, when we were on the bike with my
mother, the bridge was slippery, the bike skidded and we felt down. Abah was a
skinny and tall person. He tried so hard to avoid Mak and me to fell down from
the motorbike. He was using his leg and it was bleeding and his skin was
tattered. Pity Abah but he just bears his pain and we immediately went to the
clinic. The point here is, he’ll make sure that we are safe even he’s hurt.
I still remember, when I recite an Al-Quran, he will listen
and correct me when I am wrong without looking at it (he memorized some of the
Surah). The reason he taught me to read Al-Quran at home is because, I’ve been
beaten by Ustaz because I can’t read the Al-Quran upside down (I guess the Ustaz
is psycho). He was so angry and scolded him by saying “Saya tak pernah jentik
pun anak saya ni”.
Abah pampered me by buying me prizes every time I’ve won
something or got 1st place in my class. But of course he bought me
the presents that he can afford to buy. When I was in standard 4, I’ve got 1st place in class and
best student in Maths, Science, English, Agama, Malay and Music, and he bought
me 7 different prizes for 7 different categories that I’ve won. I was so happy!
And one of the present was badminton racket.
I was in standard 6 preparing for my UPSR. Abah will wake me
up every day at 4.30 am and will accompany me to study while he was smoking at
the couch. I am also sharing his work station so that I feel comfortable to study
and doing my homework.
When I was in Form 1, Abah realized that he spoilt me so
much. So he sent me to hostel for me to be independent. I was crying and
without my knowledge, I didn’t know that I was taking Arabic subjects for my
PMR papers. He seldom visits me at the hostel. At first I wonder why. I missed
him and Mak so much and I called home every day. While my best friend’s dad is
always come and visits my friend which he was a good friend to Abah too. Pakcik
Usop (my bestfriend’s dad) will provide me with food (biscuits, drinks and all)
during his visits and said that it was from Abah, which I know Pakcik Usop who bought
it for me and not Abah. One day, I asked Abah why he seldom comes to my hostel
and visit me like Pakcik Usop or at least bought me a food? He said “Dalin,
Abah takde duit nk dtg slalu. Abah kadang2 kena pinjam duit dr pakcik mintak
dia belikan makanan. Abah taknak Dalin tak makan atau tgk budak2 lain semua
mewah dgn makan tp Dalin tak. Abah mintak maaf…” I was crying the whole night …..
I was a prefect since I was in standard 1 until form 5. When
I was in form 3, I need to attend the survival course for the prefects. When he
heard that a guy lifted me up, he came to the school and met up with the
Principle. He wants me to quit from school and send me to another school near
the house. During that time, I didn’t even take my PMR yet and the Principle tries
negotiating with Abah to at least let me take my exam first then transfer
school. Abah agreed provided that his daughter will never be touched again with
any guys.
Then Abah found out that I have a boyfriend. He again came
to the hostel and met up with that boy and giving him some advices “ Pakcik tak
kisah nak berkawan. Tapi jgn buat perkara tak senonoh. Berkawan berlandaskan
agama ada batas2….” And the advices went on and on and on…. Mak and me just
smile.
As promised, Abah took me back to my hometown and he’ll make
sure that he will send and fetch me to anywhere that I go. School, tuitions,
sports, you name it.
There was one day, I was late after school. Normally my
class finished at 1.15pm. It took about 5 minutes to go down the hill to Abah’s
car. On that day, I was late for 2 minutes because on my way down, I’ve chit
chat with one of my teacher about our Rekacipta competition. Abah was so mad
and said “I was an Army. When I said 1.20pm, you have to be here sharp at
1.20pm. Understand?” Abah will speak in English when he’s angry to me. I was shocked
but I’ve immune to it.
When I was in form 5, Abah was taking care of by my brothers
and sisters. He was admitted to Hospital Tuanku Ampuan Rahimah. I, during that
time was busy with my school activities and preparing myself for SPM. It has
been 2 weeks I didn’t meet up with Abah. I stayed with my cousins and her
family.
I still remember, Abah asked me to clip his nails but I
refused because I’m scared that I’ll cut his fingers. He just kept quiet and
did it by himself. And that was the last
time I’ve seen him.
14th March 1999, I was on my way to see Abah as I
miss him so much but we couldn’t find our way and reached the hospital at
6.31pm. Surprisingly, there were most of our relatives at the hospital. The
moment I’ve reached Abah’s bed, he’s already passed away at 6.30pm!! I was 1
minute late to see Abah and I burst into tears like….forever.
Abah owh Abah, I miss you so much. If only you are here you
will make sure that me and my sisters are safe and happy. I know you were an
army, you are fierce but soft-hearted, and you are easily angered but loving.
Your advices to me are so soft, deep and soothing to my ears. “Dalin ni ank
Abah yg paling degil tp Abah tau Dalin dgr ckp Abah”. Abah loves to compliment
me,pampered me and left his memory with me forever…the scar on my head
(cigarette ember). I love you, Abah….you will always be my HERO.
“Moga Abah ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yg beriman…Al-Fatihah”
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